Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
