Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
