lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
