if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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