you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
only if we run a train.
done.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
