the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
