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okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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