Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
