OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
