Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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