So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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