I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
