If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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