@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
