Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
