I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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