we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
