Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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