Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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