your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
