So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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