Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
