It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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