i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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