I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
