how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
