but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
