My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
