i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
