Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
