Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
