gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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