I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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