just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
