I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize