I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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