Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
