It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
