6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
