Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
