We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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