Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
