last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
