I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize