His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
