Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize