Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
