I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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