To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
