How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize