Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
