Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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