i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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