One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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