Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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