Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
