i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
