Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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