your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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