Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You took a bar mat shot.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
