I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
