I have demons in me.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
