the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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